I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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