'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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