Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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