This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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