he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
