Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
