My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
