Four minutes until I can fart!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
This is the high leading the old right now
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
