I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
