I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
