I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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