god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
