I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
