there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
3pm strippers are depressing
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
