Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
