just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize