his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
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The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
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As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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