I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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