Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
