you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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