Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
