so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
