i will never coherently bang her
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Someone came in the potted fern
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
