Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
