he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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