I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
