plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
the liver wants what the liver wants
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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