Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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