So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
