I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
