Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
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So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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