swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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