your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I look better un-naked...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
