I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
