Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
