as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
