i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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