I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
