You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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