I must be too annoying 4 u.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
