I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
