oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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