Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
