i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
