Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize