Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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