When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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