You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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