Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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