He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
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My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
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I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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