for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
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my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize