your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
