a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
