I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize