haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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