plz talk dirty to me
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
