This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
