talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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