now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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