I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
