Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
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