I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
