pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
