So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
